My search for the perfect gym begins

I decided that since I am going to be in this town until I find a job that I should probably find a gym worth attending. I registered for a free two week pass to 24 Hour Fitness online, and 43 minutes later, I received a call from one of their sales representatives.

"Here at Globo Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it." - White Goodman, Globo Gym owner (Dodgeball)

First of all, I thought it was weird that they even called me. It’s a gym. Why? Second of all, his questions caught me off guard. Made it really difficult to come up with a story on the spot. Let’s call my salesman Chris.


Me: Hello?

Chris: Hello, is this Jayce?

Me: No.

Chris: I’m sorry, is this Jessie?

Me: Yes.

Chris: This is Chris from 24, I see that you’ve registered with us for a free two weeks. When would you like to come in for a tour of our club?

Me: Wow. I literally just signed up for this. Like 40 minutes ago. You’re quite speedy.

Chris: Oh, yes. I have your papers right in front of me. Tell me, what are your fitness goals?

Me: My fitness goals? Ummm, well I am training to be in weightlifting and bodybuilding competitions, so I’ll need to be using a lot of heavy weights for sure.

Chris: Okay. So, you sound like you know what you’re doing already. When can you come in?

Me: Oh, yeah, of course. I body build all the time. I’ll be doing a lot of two-a-days for these next two weeks, so I’ll be in tomorrow morning around 9 am.

Chris: Oh, okay. Well, I will see you tomorrow morning then, and I’ll give you a tour of our club. And make sure you ask for Chris.

Me: Okay, Chris. Can’t wait to see your club. Bye!

I decided I will not be attending the apparent Globogym. I just want to use some free weights, possibly attend a yoga class or two, and jog. I do not want to be given a tour by a meathead who actually believes that I am going to be doing two-a-days at 24 Hour Fitness on a free two week pass to train for weightlifting competitions.


5 responses to “My search for the perfect gym begins

  1. Dude! I had a similar experience a few weeks ago. I am looking for a gym also, so I went by Anytime Fitness in San Marcos. They were asking me about my fitness goals and stuff as well. It was weird… I was like, “I don’t know. Lose 10 pounds.” I really just want a place to do some machines and blah blah blah. He was nice, but not $50/month-nice.

    I think I am going to join San Marcos Athletic Club on N. LBJ. They seem relaxed and they’ll just let me do my thing for $17/month.

  2. Hahaha. Good luck! 🙂

  3. rofl. lol that picture of ben stiller

  4. Chris was probably doing forearm curls while making cold calls and a little distracted, lol.

  5. Hi
    I am thinking about taking pro hormones, do you think this
    is good idea for advanced bodybuilder like me? People are satisfied with the results after prohormones cycles,
    just google for – prohormones factory – worth a try?

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