Sexual harassment prevention techniques

This evening, I tried to explain to my mother about my theories on keeping predators away as a single female. She didn’t share my enthusiasm, but maybe you will.

Theory number 1:

A girl is walking down the street, alone, in a dark ally (for dramatization)…

There is a group of three creepy gangster men who would love to prey on said single girl that are lurking behind a shady building…yes, lurking…

All of the sudden, the men notice that the girl is biting the air, barking, growling, and mumbling to herself. Loudly. She is also twitching. And barking some more.

The men decide that maybe they don’t want to go after the single girl after all. They would rather find someone of a sound mental state, not someone barking and biting the air alone in the middle of the night.

Theory number 2:

A girl walks to her car alone at night, and as she is opening the door, a man comes up to her in hopes of an easy attack. But, oh, what is that? Is that a machete he sees laying in her backseat? Maybe he won’t mess with her after all. Man runs away…no one wants to fight a girl with a machete.

So, ladies, stay safe while walking alone at night. As previously suggested, I recommend either A. barking to yourself and biting the air, or B. keeping a machete visible at all times in your vehicle.


7 responses to “Sexual harassment prevention techniques

  1. so, pretend you have rabies or pretend you are a female serial killer? i like it.

  2. Brilliant! Or you can just walk around with a bearded Marine, covered in tattoos…….just saying 🙂

  3. Small problem. Machetes, when seen in your car by a police officer, can get you arrested damn quickly.


  4. I feel this blog needs more theories.

    That is all.

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