Women in today’s society kick some serious ass. They are getting college and graduate degrees, holding high paying positions in some of the nation’s top companies, and participating in scientific research more than ever before. However, even though women are held to a higher standard on the intellectual level these days, some men still feel the need to objectify women and to treat them with complete disrespect.
This incident has been playing over and over again in my head since it happened, and every time I think about it, I get angrier and angrier. On Thursday night, I went out to The Tavern (a local bar in San Marcos, Texas) with my boyfriend Jared and a friend, Zach. We were all standing around a table, drinking some beers and talking amongst ourselves. All of the sudden, I felt a hand around my waste and someone kissed my neck. I looked back and saw that it was a short, fat, white guy in a blue and white polo striped shirt – a guy that I had never seen before in my life. I looked at him, saw that he was clearly intoxicated, his friends were at the table next to ours giggling about his belligerent behavior, and I had a look of disgust on my face.
I tried to pretend like nothing happened because I wanted to avoid confrontation. All three of us were clearly not on this guy’s level of drunkenness and bar fights are not really my style. I tried to change the subject quickly to avoid any sort of possible fight about the incident – after all, this guy kissed my neck in the presence of my boyfriend.
I have always told Jared that if anything like that ever happened, that I didn’t want him to defend me, I wanted to defend myself. So, I am glad he respected me enough to not do anything about it when I didn’t want him to. However, I am so mad at myself for not punching the guy in the face – not reacting to his actions goes against everything I believe in as a woman.
As much as I wanted to physically harm this sloppy drunk guy, I saw it playing out like this: I punch him in the face, accidentally break his nose, we all get kicked out of the bar, I get a letter three weeks later stating that I am being sued for medical costs and some sort of battery, I go to court, he wins because he has a neck brace on and a black eye, and he continues to touch women inappropriately in bars while using alcohol as an excuse.
While I realize that my decision to avoid violence was semi-responsible, I also realize that women need to stand up for themselves no matter what the consequences are. Men should never be able to put their hands or lips on a woman that does not consent to it. Furthermore, alcohol should never be an excuse for harassment, either. If men continue to think these actions are okay simply because we women do not stand up for ourselves, then they don’t have much incentive to respect us in the long run.
I propose that all women take a self defense class – just in case. I also propose that parents put your daughters in self defense at an early age. This is 2010 ladies. For the love of God, learn from my mistake, and stand up for what is right – no matter what the consequences may be.