Alienate Roswell

Walmart in Roswell

Walmart in Roswell

My cousin Jimmy, my brother Aaron, and I were super excited to drive through Roswell, New Mexico on our epic road trip home from California to see the infamous alien town that is mentioned in Men In Black and other alien-related movies. Well, once we got there, the first thing we saw was a Wal-Mart with aliens on the outside of the walls, and Arby’s that said “Aliens Welcome” on their sign, and a McDonald’s with a flying saucer outside of it. If you know anything about me, you can imagine my excitement at these sites. I was like a little kid in Disneyland.

We pulled into a gas station and I asked the lady at the counter where we could get some alien themed food. Well, clearly we weren’t from round them parts, because she looked at me like I was absolutely insane. She responded with “well, everything is pretty normal around here.” Disappointment spread across my face. I probably now looked like the little kid at Disneyland that just dropped my cotton candy. When she saw the expression on my face, she miraculously came up with something to cheer me up – “there is a Mexican restaurant called Martin’s Capitol Café that has a lifesize alien in it…” Then came my exaggerated expression of excitement and I quickly ran to the Jeep to head to the alien Mexican food restaurant. We walked in the restaurant and saw a bunch of old people and smelled the scent of poorly concocted Mexican food. I asked a man that was walking out of the restaurant if there was really an alien in the restaurant after I glanced around and didn’t spot it. He looked at me, smiled, and said “yeah…it’s in the back room under a table.” “Okay, awesome!” I exclaimed with the biggest smile on my face. The man left the hostess took us to our table. I asked her in a very concerned voice, “where is the alien that’s under the table back here?” She confusedly responded with that you’re-an-idiot look on her face and said, “uhh, what alien? There aren’t any aliens in here.” I obviously looked like a dumb tourist that nobody really wanted in that place. I felt so dumb after realizing that I asked a gas station lady where I could find alien food and then asking a restaurant hostess and random man where the life size alien was to be found.

Me with cute little alien

After we were seated, we were served possibly the worst food on the planet. I almost refuse to call it Mexican food. No alien, no queso, no good enchiladas – I was not happy. We left the restaurant thoroughly disappointed with Roswell, NM and drove around the corner to find –one block over – every single alien themed place in the entire town. One block away. Just one. This furthered my anger as you can imagine. We went into a gift shop, bought a bunch of random alien themed gadgets, took a lot of pictures, and left the lovely town of Roswell, New Mexico. Hopefully that will be my last visit to alien town.

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